vacation...

i am currently on my winter break.  an i have been enjoying it alot.  however, i have been spending way too much money and i am not supposed to be spending money right now.  i have a little bit saved up, but i was wanting to use that for when i graduate.  i was planning on selling my truck and combining that with what i already have to buy a new car.  im not sure which vehicle im going to get, but im kinda interested in the new acura tl.  i also like the nissan 350z.  however, im not sure what im going to get yet.  i still have a couple of months to decide.  i may not get either one.

ok, so my winter break...  i have not really done anything lately.  i try to get up about 9 am though.  i dont really like sleeping all day because then i feel like my day is wasted.  now i understand that sometimes it does feel good to just sleep in, but, most of the time, i feel better waking up a little earlier.

well, this weekend i am going snowboarding with one of my friends and his family.  i am leaving saturday and then coming back next wednesday.  now wasnt i saying something about spending too much money...?  anyways... it should be good snow though, with all the rain we have been getting lately.  it should be some really good powder up there.  that sounds good to me.

christmas is only a couple days away.  im not sure what my family is doing, but i think we are just going to stay home.  that is ok with me, i guess.  i didnt really get anyone anything this year.  it kinda makes me feel bad, but most of them understand.  at least they seem to.  maybe they are mad and they are just not showing it. lol but me having to pay to work (instead of the other way around) is not really my idea of a good job.  but they seem to understand.

well, i am going to take off now.  i need to make sure i have all my stuff ready for this weekend.  if i dont have anything, then i need to make sure i get it.  and spend more money... ~o joy!~

well, have fun! talk latter!

quotes

here are a couple of quotes i thought were somewhat interesting.

"It is not what we carry with us but what we let go that defines who we are."  Detective Charles Crews

"Nobody wants to be nothing.  Thus, we all strive to become something.  However, in striving to become something, we actually become nothing."  Luis Angel Lugo, Jr

"There are two reasons why people will believe a lie. First, because they want it to be true.  Second, because they are afraid it is true." Zeddicus Zu’l Zorander

"If you only knew..." Shinedown

"Get the facts, or the facts will get you.  And, when you get them, get them right, or they will get you wrong."  Dr. Thomas Fuller

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."  Richard Cook

"The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little." Joseph Martin

"The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him."  Russell Baker

ok, i am done.  sorry about all that!  lol

umm...school...?

well, yesterday was my last day of the semester and i am now on vacation for about a month.  that makes me feel really good.  today, i got started on that vacation... i have not done anything.  just been lazy all day.  and it feels good! lol

yesterday was also my last day at the reedley hospital.  to be honest, i am going to miss it there.  i made some new friends and i am going to miss them.  i wont miss the drive of course... and getting up at 6 am.  not something i am really good at... lol

i have already gotten my final grades for this last semester and i am happy with them.  i had three classes and got three a's.  three classes and its like 14 units.  and they have us working our 40 hrs a week with no pay.  nice... lol  but i only have a couple of months left.  and i am definitely ready to graduate.

well, i am pretty much done for now.  nothing really to say.  i will try to get on again soon and let you know how my vacation is going.  talk latter!  have fun!

nothing

i really dont know why i am writing anything right now.  i really dont have anything to say and its 11 pm right now.  i should be in bed asleep because i have to get up early.  there is nothing new in my life either.  at least, nothing significant i could really talk about.  i did my laundry today, but i dont think you really want to hear about that. lol  if you really want to, then just let me know and i will post about it later.  lol

i only have a couple more days left in the reedley hospital.  actually, i am going to miss it there.  i have really been able to get along with... well, almost everyone there, i think.  i dont think there is anyone that i dont really get along with.  everyone there seems pretty chill and i have really enjoyed working there.  i will be honest though, i am not going to miss the drive.  i dont really like getting up at 6 am and driving 45 min to work.  lol  call me crazy, but it is just not my favorite thing in this world.  seriously, i really will miss all my friends there, though.  i had better be careful what i write, since they read this.  lol  cuate!  i am going to miss you!  you are my cuate and you will always be my one and only cuate.  cuate's for life!

well, i really need to go to bed now.  i hope you have fun.  talk latter.

turkey day

well, yesterday was turkey day.  it was a day to stop and think about everything we have and just to be thankful for it.  as i thought about everything in my life, i believe i have quite a few things going for me.  and i am very thankful for it all.  

the main thing in my life right now is the radiology program.  i only have a couple of months left and i do get really sick of school, but i am very thankful i am in this program.  my classroom and clinical instructors are doing their best to give me a good education and the skills necessary to work in the medical field and i really appreciate that.

im also thankful for my classmates.  i have had some really good times with you guys.  at the beginning of the program, i was mostly quiet.  however, talking to all of you, and chillaxin, and just messing around in class, you guys are awesome.  also, thank you for supporting me in my career as a calvin klein model.

im thankful for my family for putting up with me.  my parents have given me alot and really helped me out.  you have done so much for me in helping me to succeed through school.  i really appreciate all that you all have done.

im also thankful for all my girlfriends.  you know who you are.  and you know why i am thankful for you.  thankful for all of you.  lol  

to my homies: where would i be without you guys? lol  i really dont know what to say to you.  you guys have really helped me out.  and we have been through alot together.  i really appreciate you all and everything you have done.

c2: ok i really dont think you are gonna read this.  you seem to have better things to do with your time than to sit and read these things.  lol  so, i will keep this short.  thanks for everything bro.  i really mean it.

to my hockey crew: without you guys, i would not be able to play hockey.  i dont know what i would do with my life then.  lol

ok i totally did not mean to make this a list of thank you's.  lol  sorry about all that.  well, i am gonna take off now.  have fun!  talk latter!

today...

i had just written a long blog about my day, but when i was going over it, it really seemed like i was just rambling on.  lol  so i deleted it.  i guess i can try again... if i am still rambling,... well, just scroll down then, i guess. lol

well, today was pretty good.  i woke up around noon and that was really cool.  aside from being sick recently, i have not been able to sleep in for a long time.  so that felt really good.

most of my day consisted of playing hockey.  that was cool considering i have not been able to play for a while.  but since i was sick this whole past week, i kept getting really winded.  and since i just switched to a right-handed stick, that was awkward.  i feel i have more control over my shot, but i have almost no puck handling abilities now.  so, that sux.  im just going to have to keep practicing i guess.

well, after that, i just came home and have been chillaxin here.  i was going to go out again, but i was kinda tired.  and i have my report to work on.  ya... so that is why i am on here.  you already know that i really hate studying.  i guess i am just wasting time.

i have a little more than 7 months of school left.  that really makes me happy.  i have been working this past year and a half with no pay.  putting in my 40 hr weeks and nothing to show for it.  but, it will all be worth it when i graduate.  well, that is what i keep telling myself at least. lol

then i wonder what i am going to do after i graduate.  i want to go back to school and expand my knowledge (and my degree), but i am really sick of school.  so, i am considering just working for about a year and then going back, but i wonder if i really will go back.  i know most of the time, when someone quits going to college, its very hard to go back.  well, i dont know that from personal experience, but that is what i have been told.  so i am not sure what im going to do.  i guess it will also depend on what job i get and where i work.

well, i am going to go now.  so i will talk to you latter.  i need to go work on my report.  and i will work on it!  i will not touch my xbox 360...  i will NOT touch my xbox...  i will not... touch... my... xbox...  i can feel a tremendous pull on my body... it is calling to me... i am trying to fight it...  i will not touch my xbox... aaahhhh!!!!!

my life...

i realize it has been a while since i have written anything and i apologize.  i have been sick this whole past week.  and it really sucked.  i was in bed most of that whole week.  now that was nice, but i prefer being in bed when im not sick and have to be in bed.  lol  i dont like being stuck there.  so anyways, i am alive now.  

school is going ok now.  i turned in that report and pretty much did the whole thing wrong.  so, my teacher gave it back to me and told me to do it right.  o joy...  so now i have to redo the whole thing and turn it in asap.  he didnt give me a date, just said asap.  so whatever that means... (well, i realize it means as soon as possible, but i meant... whatever, stop distracting me. lol)  so anyways... ya... next subject...

yesterday in class, one of my classmates had a really bad attitude.  i dont know what ticked her off so bad, but she was biting everyone's head off.  when i asked her what was wrong and why was she so mad, she started chewing me out.  she was saying that she was not in a bad mood and she didnt know why everyone kept asking her why she was.  you would think that she would get the hint or something.  if that many people are asking what is wrong, then maybe there is something wrong.  ok, i realize that story had no relevance to anything at all.  i simply told that story for one person.  i guess you could say its an inside joke.  i had told her that i would put her in my blog.  so, there you go! lol  i hope you enjoyed it.

the fresno falcons are doing pretty good right now.  and since i have been sick, i have not been able to play hockey.  tonight, there is a game so we will not be playing.  but, we are gonna meet up tomorrow to play.  i have been out of it so i really am looking forward to getting out there again.  another reason i am looking forward to playing is because i am going to try to switch up the way i play.  i have been playing left-handed but im going to try right-handed.  playing left was easier for me when i started, but lately i have been wondering if im playing the right way.  so, im just gonna try it for a couple of games and see if i like it.  we will see if i can adjust.  if so, then cool, maybe i will get better.  if not, then oh well.

but, first i will get my report done! lol right.....! in fact, i will go work on it right now.....  lol talk latter.  have fun.

an update

well, i havnt been on here in a while and i wanted to give you an update.  i had a 5 page report due yesterday and i have spent the last week working on it.  i dont think i did it right though.  after i had turned it in, i found out i had done it in the wrong format.  so... o well, i guess. we will see what happens.  i hope i dont get docked too much for that.  my instructor is supposed to send it back to us after he grades it and we can fix it and turn it back in.  so well see....

i also had a test yesterday.  that was interesting.  i had spent most of my time on the report so i didnt even study for it.  i actually had not even read the chapter through.  i had started it, but never actually studied.  so when it came time for the test, i was kinda freaking out.  but, i got really lucky.  half the test were diagrams where we had to label everything.  that is just a process of elimination.  and that was 50 questions.  i was kinda surprised that he put that many on there.  but, like i said, i got really lucky.  i ended up with an 88%.

so, anyways, that was just a quick update.  i have to run now.  talk latter! have fun!

part 2

ok, i didnt want to leave that as my last post and i realize i didnt even mention hockey.  the fresno falcons have played their first three games and have won them all.  as of now, they are the only team in the pacific division who are undefeated.  however, i know this can change very quickly.

looking back on last season and comparing it to this season, i am very satisfied with the style of play so far.  the team seems to have good chemistry and plays well together.  they seem a bit more aggressive and definitely more physical.  last season, the falcons seemed to take a lot more junk from the opposing team before they would retaliate, if at all.  this season, i dont think they have taken anything from anyone.  the guys not only are more willing to fight (and win), but they have the skill necessary to win the game.  when you combine both qualities into the entire team, it really gives a positive look on each game.  we will just have to see how the rest of the season turns out.  i am really looking forward to it and i will be cheering them on.  go falcons!

what i am thinking

how is it that someone can change drastically overnight?  after four years, you would think that you knew that person fairly well.  you would think that you understood how they thought and what they believe in.  if they change that drastically in such a short amount of time, then it kind of makes you wonder exactly how well you knew them in the first place.  were they lying to you that entire time?  were they completely faking it before or are they faking it now?  after a four year relationship, feelings dont just go away like that... or do they?

i have heard that love is blind and i believe that is true.  when you are in love, you do not see that person the way they truly are.  you only see what love allows you to see.  love blinds you to the lesser qualities and distorts your judgment.  it makes the imperfections in that other half seem very minute and completely acceptable.  however, this is a good thing.  if it were not so, then no one would ever fall in love.  no one would ever open themselves and their heart to another.

but the minute that love is stripped away, that is when you truly see that person for who they really are.  when that love is gone and your judgment is no longer clouded, you see that person in a new light.  you may even wonder, "what was i thinking?"  when you get that moment of truth, it is even possible to see the entire world in a different light.

well, that was what i have been thinking about lately.  maybe my interpretation is completely wrong, but o well...  please dont mistake me, i am all for falling in love.  i am just trying to understand everything better.  anyways, have fun!

today

well, i am kinda tired right now but i feel pretty good.  for a long time, the lights at the hockey rink have not been working so we had to quit playing when it got dark.  today, they finally worked for us.  so instead of getting done around 7 pm, we were able to play until 10.  that extra time definitely wore me out though.  but, it really felt good to be out there playing.  tonight, quite a few guys showed up as well.  there were enough guys so that we were able to "sub" in, but not too many where we lost a significant amount of time on the ice.  (well, not ice, but yeah...)  if we can keep playing that long again, then i definitely have to get my stamina back up.

i went by spoc today.  that is sierra pacific orthopaedic center on herndon and cedar.  i used to work there for about a year in the x-ray department.  i just wanted to stop by and say what's up and see how everyone was doing.  i have only been gone for about 4 months, but it seemed like alot of things had changed.  new faces and new doctors...  and people moving from one doctor's office to another.  it was a little different.  x-ray still seemed the same though.  that felt pretty good.  just walking in and everything being just as i remembered it.

today was my last day rotating here in fresno for the rest of the semester.  monday, i go back to reedley.  (yeah, i know, you have heard it many times before)  so, we will see what happens with that.  i am still a little nervous about the drive and the fog.  but i am sure everything will be ok.

well, i am tired so i am gonna go to bed.  ok, i say that but it probably wont happen right away.  but, i will try.  so... anyways... have fun!

anything

well, once again, i dont really have anything on my mind but i want to write something.  i have not gotten any further on my report.  i know, i should be working on it.  after i posted my blog monday, my friend called and said he wanted to go chill somewhere.  and me, not wanting to do the report anyway, decided to go with him.  so... i am pretty much in the same place as i was on monday night.  oops...

with my program, this is the last week i will be rotating in fresno for the rest of the semester.  monday, oct 20, i start back in reedley and im scheduled to be there through december.  that means i will have to start getting up at 6 again and driving out there.  i think the morning is a beautiful time of the day, however, i just wish it came a little later in the day.  then, i could enjoy it more.  lol

i am glad today is hump day and the rest of the week is all downhill from here.  it seems like this whole week has gone by somewhat slowly.  i dont know what exactly it was, but the time just seemed to drag by.  especially today at work.  it was a fairly busy day, but it just seemed like it took a long time for the day to pass.  it seemed like every time i looked at the clock, only 5-10 minutes had passed.  but, it finally came time to clock out and here i am now.  tomorrow is thursday and i have class.  come to think of it, im pretty sure i have a test tomorrow.  oh well..

then comes friday.  on friday, there is a group of us that meet at the hockey rink over by the fashion fair mall and we... play hockey. (who would have thought? lol)  we used to play until almost 11 pm, but something happened to the lights and now they wont go on.  so we play until it gets dark.  which is usually around 8 now, but it is getting sooner.  unfortunately...  hopefully, the lights will be fixed fairly soon and we can play longer.  if anyone wants to check it out, we start playing around 5 pm.  if you are interested in playing, you are more than welcome.  if you just want to watch, then that is cool too.  were not professionals, and we are not even close.  we are just out there to have fun.  so, feel free to swing by.

well, im not really sure what else to talk about.  like i said before, i dont really have anything on my mind.  although, i did kind of write a lot.  o well, i hope you enjoyed reading this.  well, if not enjoyed then i hope you were not completely bored.  lol  im still not sure what exactly this blogging thing is supposed to be about.  if there is anything that anyone would like me to write about, or at least attempt, then just let me know.  anyways, have fun!

not wanting to study

Okay, well my title should tell you everything about this post.  I have a 5 page report due in a couple of weeks, and I should be working on it.  However, I really do not want to do the report at all.  So... I figured I would procrastinate just a little bit longer.

The report, as I said, is a minimum of 5 pages with a minimum of 5 sources.  Of the sources, only 1 can be from the internet.  We have to have the cover-page and all that fancy junk and the report is supposed to be in ALA format.  I think... I need to double-check on that.  The report is due Nov 6.  My instructor said if we turn it in early, he will grade it and give it back to us.  Then, we can fix it and turn it back in for a better grade.  So, I am supposed to write about ankylosing spondylitis and how it pertains to radiology.  In a nutshell, ankylosing spondylitis is arthritis of the spine.  It attacks the joint spaces and ligaments connecting the vertebrae and calcifies them, effectively destroying the joint space.  The entire spine appears on a radiograph as if it were completely fused together.  The patient will have a decreased amount of mobility and will constantly be in a great amount of pain.  Look, here I am, writing my report...

I am not really worried about writing the report, it's just sitting down and actually studying enough to write 5 pages.  Once I start writing, I know I'll be okay.  I usually get fairly decent grades on any writing assignments.  It's just the studying part.

So the Fresno Falcons hockey season starts this month.  The Falcons had their preseason games against Stockton and the first home season game will be against the Bakersfield Condors on Oct 24.  I was looking at the roster for the Falcons, and I'm pretty happy with our line-up.  I'm hoping they can do a little better this year, though.  Last season, we had a good team, but we couldn't make it happen when it really counted.  We'll see what happens this year.

I know I kind of changed my writing style in this post, but I have a little bit of a reason.  Not a big one though.  My friend's roommate and I were talking about writing properly and how texting is not even close to being proper grammar.  When I get a letter from someone, I notice the grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc.  I'm not a stickler on these things, I just notice.  (If you saw my previous posts, then you should know I really don't care)  Well, she went off on a tangent about how it is so horrible and how we need to have proper grammar.  I can understand if it is a handwritten letter, or even typed.  However, when it comes to texting, I just don't think I should have to worry about all of that.  It's not like I have a lot of room anyways.  So, this post is for her.  Well, the punctuation and grammar and all that.  I hope she enjoys it as it is very annoying to go back and check my every sentence.  lol  Oops, I don't think I can have "lol" in my post... Oh well...

Well, I'm going to leave with that.  I have a report to write, with proper grammar.  Have fun!

nothing actually...

well, i dont really have anything on my mind right now, but i kinda just wanted to write something.  i dont really know what though... so we will just see how this turns out.

chris (my homie) and i were talking today about the phrase, "how are you doing?"  when most people say this, they are saying it in passing.  just as an acknowledgement of your presence within their general vicinity.  they dont actually mean to ask you how you are doing.  now, most people realize this.  most people... anyways, it is a polite greeting, to which the appropriate response is, "im good."  nothing more.

so why do people ask this question if they dont mean it?  it is something i do not quite understand.  when people say this to me, i realize they dont really want to hear about everything going on within my life, but if im not doing good, then i i dont want to lie and say that.  instead, i go with something along the lines of, "if i complained, it wouldnt do any good anyways," or "im still alive... barely."  if everything is going good, then i just say so.

i try not to use this greeting with anyone.  unless, i truly mean it.  but with most people, i realize that i really dont care how they are doing.  so, i dont want to ask them that.  i have asked it before and ive asked the wrong person.  you know, the people that actually tell you EVERYTHING.  you are sitting there for 5 minutes while they wail on about how the boss is discriminating against them because they only get a paycheck once every 2 weeks and then how the car payment is late because of this.  then, they might be coming down with a cold because of the change in the weather, but they prefer fall to spring because spring has all the pollen in the air and it really messes with their allergies...  ok, thats enough. lol  you get the picture.

so, i really dont want to hear their whole story and also, i dont want them to think that i really care.  i know, im cold and heartless.  actually, not really, though...  if i do ask you that question, then i really mean it.  if you want to take it and run with it, then thats fine.  i asked and i really want to know.

working in a hospital, i really cannot ask this question.  not because i dont care and i just dont want to hear it, but because the answers i get do not always pertain to the situation. (besides, they are in the hospital, so how do you think they are doing, you moron?  lol)  now, i have heard some really wacked out responses.  but, i dont need to hear everything that has happened since they were 7.  i just need to know the basics.  so i try to keep it more direct.  like, "what happened with your back?  why does it hurt?"  it doesnt always work though.  sometimes i still hear everything since they were 7.  lol  instead of this: "well, last friday, i was playing football and i was tackled.  i felt something pop in my back and it still hurts."  i get this: "well it actually started when i was 4.  my dad had taken me to the park down the street from our house and he started teaching me how to throw a football.  he taught me how to throw that perfect spiral.  did your dad ever do that to you? well, thats good.  oh, look!  i have a picture in my wallet of me and pop.  see?  thats me when i was 8.  so, he taught me and when i started school, i joined the football team and worked my way up to starting quarterback.  blah, blah, blah...."  you might be thinking that i am making this up, but i am serious right now.  i actually have heard stories just like this.  lol

wow!  look at where this blog has gone.  well, i am pretty much done i guess.  i was not meaning to rant on about it.  well, until next time, have fun!

life...?

working in a hospital's emergency room has made me truly realize just how fragile this life is.  i know now how easily a life can be snuffed out.  once i realized how quickly a life can be taken, it made me appreciate my life more, although my life is not perfect, nowhere even close to it.  i have circumstances and situations in my life that i wish were not there.  i have said and done things that i wish i could take back.  there are many things i wish i could do over.  however, i know we cant go back.  we cant "un-ring" a bell.  we cant take back our words or our actions.  we can be forgiven for our wrongs, but we are unable to truly take them back.

we have all heard it said before, how we need to live each day as if it were the last.  but, if you really stop and think about it, it really is true.  how much different would i live my life if i knew when my time was coming?  how would i change my priorities?  what would i do different?  would i take a little more time to "smell the roses?"  would i try a little harder to not get so angry?  would i become that friend that everyone wants to have?  a friend that will always be there and will always help you, no matter what?  what would i really do?

currently, i am single.  but, looking back on my relationship, what would i have done different?  what would i have done that could maybe have changed the outcome of that relationship? looking back, there are a couple of things i know i would have done, however, it is too late for that now.

looking back on my life, i see my mistakes and my shortcomings.  hindsight is 20/20, and so i gaze upon my entire life up to this point... everything i am happy with and would not change... and those parts of which i am not so happy, the parts i wish i could change.  if i am able to keep the perspective of how fragile this life is within my mind, then maybe, just maybe, when my time comes, i will be satisfied with how i have lived and would not desire to change as much as i wish i could now.  

i apologize for the serious note of which this blog has, but with recent circumstances in my life... i dont want to be the same person i was.  maybe if i write it down, then i will be more likely to change and then to keep that change.  maybe then, my life will have more meaning.  if not to others, then at least to myself.

a little bit about me

this is my first blog and im not sure what i am supposed to say.  so, i figure i can start out by telling you (whoever is reading this) a little bit about myself.  although, i am not sure what exactly you would like to know.  this is my blog though, so if you dont like it... well... dont read it, i guess. lol

well, i am 22 yrs old and i am currently attending fresno city college.  i am in the radiology program and have less than a year left.  the program takes up the majority of my time. (and by that, i mean the hours that i am awake)  currently, the internship has placed me here in fresno, but in a couple of weeks, i will be traveling to reedley.  not far, but definitely not cool on gas.  so far, i really enjoy the program and i also enjoy the opportunity to help people.  although, i must admit, i would enjoy it alot more if i were getting paid for it.  no more "broke college student" lol  however, my time will come.  only a couple more months...

aside from school and studying (something i am not good at) and the internship, i enjoy spending most of my time with friends.  just hanging out and chat-chitting and doing whatever...  just being cool and being wierd.

for the record, i hate studying.  i would rather sit and stare at a blank wall than study.  i will do almost anything to get out of it.  besides, i dont see why i need to study since i get decent grades.  why should i waste my time like that?

if you forget my name, i do have a couple of nicknames.  chad or chadwick, q-tip, willis, big bird, woody... actually, as im sitting here trying to remember them all, im forgetting them.  i have many nicknames, though.  pretty much, i go by anything.  it doesnt really bother me at all.  in fact, you may not even be talking to me, but ill respond.  i may not know what you are talking about but ill do my best to fake it.  lol

so, i still live at home with my parents.  i have found that it is alot cheaper that way.  my dad is a 6th grade teacher and my mom is going to school to be a teacher, as is my brother, john.  (john as a teacher... now thats a scary thought.  him influencing all those innocent children...)  i have 3 brothers (john, ken, and michael) and 1 sister (caitlyn).  ken, caitlyn, and michael are still in school, but they are growing up way too fast.

well, i am not sure what else to write and i have already written a book.  besides, i need to get up in the morning.  so, have fun...