part 2

ok, i didnt want to leave that as my last post and i realize i didnt even mention hockey.  the fresno falcons have played their first three games and have won them all.  as of now, they are the only team in the pacific division who are undefeated.  however, i know this can change very quickly.

looking back on last season and comparing it to this season, i am very satisfied with the style of play so far.  the team seems to have good chemistry and plays well together.  they seem a bit more aggressive and definitely more physical.  last season, the falcons seemed to take a lot more junk from the opposing team before they would retaliate, if at all.  this season, i dont think they have taken anything from anyone.  the guys not only are more willing to fight (and win), but they have the skill necessary to win the game.  when you combine both qualities into the entire team, it really gives a positive look on each game.  we will just have to see how the rest of the season turns out.  i am really looking forward to it and i will be cheering them on.  go falcons!

what i am thinking

how is it that someone can change drastically overnight?  after four years, you would think that you knew that person fairly well.  you would think that you understood how they thought and what they believe in.  if they change that drastically in such a short amount of time, then it kind of makes you wonder exactly how well you knew them in the first place.  were they lying to you that entire time?  were they completely faking it before or are they faking it now?  after a four year relationship, feelings dont just go away like that... or do they?

i have heard that love is blind and i believe that is true.  when you are in love, you do not see that person the way they truly are.  you only see what love allows you to see.  love blinds you to the lesser qualities and distorts your judgment.  it makes the imperfections in that other half seem very minute and completely acceptable.  however, this is a good thing.  if it were not so, then no one would ever fall in love.  no one would ever open themselves and their heart to another.

but the minute that love is stripped away, that is when you truly see that person for who they really are.  when that love is gone and your judgment is no longer clouded, you see that person in a new light.  you may even wonder, "what was i thinking?"  when you get that moment of truth, it is even possible to see the entire world in a different light.

well, that was what i have been thinking about lately.  maybe my interpretation is completely wrong, but o well...  please dont mistake me, i am all for falling in love.  i am just trying to understand everything better.  anyways, have fun!

today

well, i am kinda tired right now but i feel pretty good.  for a long time, the lights at the hockey rink have not been working so we had to quit playing when it got dark.  today, they finally worked for us.  so instead of getting done around 7 pm, we were able to play until 10.  that extra time definitely wore me out though.  but, it really felt good to be out there playing.  tonight, quite a few guys showed up as well.  there were enough guys so that we were able to "sub" in, but not too many where we lost a significant amount of time on the ice.  (well, not ice, but yeah...)  if we can keep playing that long again, then i definitely have to get my stamina back up.

i went by spoc today.  that is sierra pacific orthopaedic center on herndon and cedar.  i used to work there for about a year in the x-ray department.  i just wanted to stop by and say what's up and see how everyone was doing.  i have only been gone for about 4 months, but it seemed like alot of things had changed.  new faces and new doctors...  and people moving from one doctor's office to another.  it was a little different.  x-ray still seemed the same though.  that felt pretty good.  just walking in and everything being just as i remembered it.

today was my last day rotating here in fresno for the rest of the semester.  monday, i go back to reedley.  (yeah, i know, you have heard it many times before)  so, we will see what happens with that.  i am still a little nervous about the drive and the fog.  but i am sure everything will be ok.

well, i am tired so i am gonna go to bed.  ok, i say that but it probably wont happen right away.  but, i will try.  so... anyways... have fun!

anything

well, once again, i dont really have anything on my mind but i want to write something.  i have not gotten any further on my report.  i know, i should be working on it.  after i posted my blog monday, my friend called and said he wanted to go chill somewhere.  and me, not wanting to do the report anyway, decided to go with him.  so... i am pretty much in the same place as i was on monday night.  oops...

with my program, this is the last week i will be rotating in fresno for the rest of the semester.  monday, oct 20, i start back in reedley and im scheduled to be there through december.  that means i will have to start getting up at 6 again and driving out there.  i think the morning is a beautiful time of the day, however, i just wish it came a little later in the day.  then, i could enjoy it more.  lol

i am glad today is hump day and the rest of the week is all downhill from here.  it seems like this whole week has gone by somewhat slowly.  i dont know what exactly it was, but the time just seemed to drag by.  especially today at work.  it was a fairly busy day, but it just seemed like it took a long time for the day to pass.  it seemed like every time i looked at the clock, only 5-10 minutes had passed.  but, it finally came time to clock out and here i am now.  tomorrow is thursday and i have class.  come to think of it, im pretty sure i have a test tomorrow.  oh well..

then comes friday.  on friday, there is a group of us that meet at the hockey rink over by the fashion fair mall and we... play hockey. (who would have thought? lol)  we used to play until almost 11 pm, but something happened to the lights and now they wont go on.  so we play until it gets dark.  which is usually around 8 now, but it is getting sooner.  unfortunately...  hopefully, the lights will be fixed fairly soon and we can play longer.  if anyone wants to check it out, we start playing around 5 pm.  if you are interested in playing, you are more than welcome.  if you just want to watch, then that is cool too.  were not professionals, and we are not even close.  we are just out there to have fun.  so, feel free to swing by.

well, im not really sure what else to talk about.  like i said before, i dont really have anything on my mind.  although, i did kind of write a lot.  o well, i hope you enjoyed reading this.  well, if not enjoyed then i hope you were not completely bored.  lol  im still not sure what exactly this blogging thing is supposed to be about.  if there is anything that anyone would like me to write about, or at least attempt, then just let me know.  anyways, have fun!

not wanting to study

Okay, well my title should tell you everything about this post.  I have a 5 page report due in a couple of weeks, and I should be working on it.  However, I really do not want to do the report at all.  So... I figured I would procrastinate just a little bit longer.

The report, as I said, is a minimum of 5 pages with a minimum of 5 sources.  Of the sources, only 1 can be from the internet.  We have to have the cover-page and all that fancy junk and the report is supposed to be in ALA format.  I think... I need to double-check on that.  The report is due Nov 6.  My instructor said if we turn it in early, he will grade it and give it back to us.  Then, we can fix it and turn it back in for a better grade.  So, I am supposed to write about ankylosing spondylitis and how it pertains to radiology.  In a nutshell, ankylosing spondylitis is arthritis of the spine.  It attacks the joint spaces and ligaments connecting the vertebrae and calcifies them, effectively destroying the joint space.  The entire spine appears on a radiograph as if it were completely fused together.  The patient will have a decreased amount of mobility and will constantly be in a great amount of pain.  Look, here I am, writing my report...

I am not really worried about writing the report, it's just sitting down and actually studying enough to write 5 pages.  Once I start writing, I know I'll be okay.  I usually get fairly decent grades on any writing assignments.  It's just the studying part.

So the Fresno Falcons hockey season starts this month.  The Falcons had their preseason games against Stockton and the first home season game will be against the Bakersfield Condors on Oct 24.  I was looking at the roster for the Falcons, and I'm pretty happy with our line-up.  I'm hoping they can do a little better this year, though.  Last season, we had a good team, but we couldn't make it happen when it really counted.  We'll see what happens this year.

I know I kind of changed my writing style in this post, but I have a little bit of a reason.  Not a big one though.  My friend's roommate and I were talking about writing properly and how texting is not even close to being proper grammar.  When I get a letter from someone, I notice the grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc.  I'm not a stickler on these things, I just notice.  (If you saw my previous posts, then you should know I really don't care)  Well, she went off on a tangent about how it is so horrible and how we need to have proper grammar.  I can understand if it is a handwritten letter, or even typed.  However, when it comes to texting, I just don't think I should have to worry about all of that.  It's not like I have a lot of room anyways.  So, this post is for her.  Well, the punctuation and grammar and all that.  I hope she enjoys it as it is very annoying to go back and check my every sentence.  lol  Oops, I don't think I can have "lol" in my post... Oh well...

Well, I'm going to leave with that.  I have a report to write, with proper grammar.  Have fun!

nothing actually...

well, i dont really have anything on my mind right now, but i kinda just wanted to write something.  i dont really know what though... so we will just see how this turns out.

chris (my homie) and i were talking today about the phrase, "how are you doing?"  when most people say this, they are saying it in passing.  just as an acknowledgement of your presence within their general vicinity.  they dont actually mean to ask you how you are doing.  now, most people realize this.  most people... anyways, it is a polite greeting, to which the appropriate response is, "im good."  nothing more.

so why do people ask this question if they dont mean it?  it is something i do not quite understand.  when people say this to me, i realize they dont really want to hear about everything going on within my life, but if im not doing good, then i i dont want to lie and say that.  instead, i go with something along the lines of, "if i complained, it wouldnt do any good anyways," or "im still alive... barely."  if everything is going good, then i just say so.

i try not to use this greeting with anyone.  unless, i truly mean it.  but with most people, i realize that i really dont care how they are doing.  so, i dont want to ask them that.  i have asked it before and ive asked the wrong person.  you know, the people that actually tell you EVERYTHING.  you are sitting there for 5 minutes while they wail on about how the boss is discriminating against them because they only get a paycheck once every 2 weeks and then how the car payment is late because of this.  then, they might be coming down with a cold because of the change in the weather, but they prefer fall to spring because spring has all the pollen in the air and it really messes with their allergies...  ok, thats enough. lol  you get the picture.

so, i really dont want to hear their whole story and also, i dont want them to think that i really care.  i know, im cold and heartless.  actually, not really, though...  if i do ask you that question, then i really mean it.  if you want to take it and run with it, then thats fine.  i asked and i really want to know.

working in a hospital, i really cannot ask this question.  not because i dont care and i just dont want to hear it, but because the answers i get do not always pertain to the situation. (besides, they are in the hospital, so how do you think they are doing, you moron?  lol)  now, i have heard some really wacked out responses.  but, i dont need to hear everything that has happened since they were 7.  i just need to know the basics.  so i try to keep it more direct.  like, "what happened with your back?  why does it hurt?"  it doesnt always work though.  sometimes i still hear everything since they were 7.  lol  instead of this: "well, last friday, i was playing football and i was tackled.  i felt something pop in my back and it still hurts."  i get this: "well it actually started when i was 4.  my dad had taken me to the park down the street from our house and he started teaching me how to throw a football.  he taught me how to throw that perfect spiral.  did your dad ever do that to you? well, thats good.  oh, look!  i have a picture in my wallet of me and pop.  see?  thats me when i was 8.  so, he taught me and when i started school, i joined the football team and worked my way up to starting quarterback.  blah, blah, blah...."  you might be thinking that i am making this up, but i am serious right now.  i actually have heard stories just like this.  lol

wow!  look at where this blog has gone.  well, i am pretty much done i guess.  i was not meaning to rant on about it.  well, until next time, have fun!

life...?

working in a hospital's emergency room has made me truly realize just how fragile this life is.  i know now how easily a life can be snuffed out.  once i realized how quickly a life can be taken, it made me appreciate my life more, although my life is not perfect, nowhere even close to it.  i have circumstances and situations in my life that i wish were not there.  i have said and done things that i wish i could take back.  there are many things i wish i could do over.  however, i know we cant go back.  we cant "un-ring" a bell.  we cant take back our words or our actions.  we can be forgiven for our wrongs, but we are unable to truly take them back.

we have all heard it said before, how we need to live each day as if it were the last.  but, if you really stop and think about it, it really is true.  how much different would i live my life if i knew when my time was coming?  how would i change my priorities?  what would i do different?  would i take a little more time to "smell the roses?"  would i try a little harder to not get so angry?  would i become that friend that everyone wants to have?  a friend that will always be there and will always help you, no matter what?  what would i really do?

currently, i am single.  but, looking back on my relationship, what would i have done different?  what would i have done that could maybe have changed the outcome of that relationship? looking back, there are a couple of things i know i would have done, however, it is too late for that now.

looking back on my life, i see my mistakes and my shortcomings.  hindsight is 20/20, and so i gaze upon my entire life up to this point... everything i am happy with and would not change... and those parts of which i am not so happy, the parts i wish i could change.  if i am able to keep the perspective of how fragile this life is within my mind, then maybe, just maybe, when my time comes, i will be satisfied with how i have lived and would not desire to change as much as i wish i could now.  

i apologize for the serious note of which this blog has, but with recent circumstances in my life... i dont want to be the same person i was.  maybe if i write it down, then i will be more likely to change and then to keep that change.  maybe then, my life will have more meaning.  if not to others, then at least to myself.

a little bit about me

this is my first blog and im not sure what i am supposed to say.  so, i figure i can start out by telling you (whoever is reading this) a little bit about myself.  although, i am not sure what exactly you would like to know.  this is my blog though, so if you dont like it... well... dont read it, i guess. lol

well, i am 22 yrs old and i am currently attending fresno city college.  i am in the radiology program and have less than a year left.  the program takes up the majority of my time. (and by that, i mean the hours that i am awake)  currently, the internship has placed me here in fresno, but in a couple of weeks, i will be traveling to reedley.  not far, but definitely not cool on gas.  so far, i really enjoy the program and i also enjoy the opportunity to help people.  although, i must admit, i would enjoy it alot more if i were getting paid for it.  no more "broke college student" lol  however, my time will come.  only a couple more months...

aside from school and studying (something i am not good at) and the internship, i enjoy spending most of my time with friends.  just hanging out and chat-chitting and doing whatever...  just being cool and being wierd.

for the record, i hate studying.  i would rather sit and stare at a blank wall than study.  i will do almost anything to get out of it.  besides, i dont see why i need to study since i get decent grades.  why should i waste my time like that?

if you forget my name, i do have a couple of nicknames.  chad or chadwick, q-tip, willis, big bird, woody... actually, as im sitting here trying to remember them all, im forgetting them.  i have many nicknames, though.  pretty much, i go by anything.  it doesnt really bother me at all.  in fact, you may not even be talking to me, but ill respond.  i may not know what you are talking about but ill do my best to fake it.  lol

so, i still live at home with my parents.  i have found that it is alot cheaper that way.  my dad is a 6th grade teacher and my mom is going to school to be a teacher, as is my brother, john.  (john as a teacher... now thats a scary thought.  him influencing all those innocent children...)  i have 3 brothers (john, ken, and michael) and 1 sister (caitlyn).  ken, caitlyn, and michael are still in school, but they are growing up way too fast.

well, i am not sure what else to write and i have already written a book.  besides, i need to get up in the morning.  so, have fun...